Canadian Florida Drivers Licence

the sushi course cult of fashion: a monologue in one act

always try, as far as possible, into the blog own content, including photos, although on occasions this is impossible (read: show pictures of big brands, and images decent, no more) I have to pull St. google. Today I have received this monologue and I could not help post it on the blog, I feel very good, and it reminds me of when I did a color study (gift from the Chinese) and I said I was the blue oil. Still do not know what that color ...

"Women are victims of a plot hatched by evil minds who meet in secret and decide what they call 'fashion trends'.

Who are they?. How they do it. I I guess that comes and says Paco Rabanne:

- 'I see that this year will carry the blue oil'.

And jump duo Victorio and Lucchino:

- 'That, that. And the sweaters, tank tops, but turtlenecks, and Fuck! ".

And by fucking date! Because fashion is not an industry. It is a sect led for fags! And those beings who hate us what can we expect? ... If we do go with these pants that tie at the rump and make us believe that we are doing well (I think they do to show off those ridiculous thongs so much bother). Or those other long leg pants that are cleaning up the sidewalks. Do you know what they are fashion victims? It is women who have fallen into their networks and can no longer escape. Such that when approaching a window, heard voices in his head: 'The power of fashion makes you', 'the power of Dior governs you. "

Actually, I realized the power of this cult when I tried to buy a red dress. Sounds easy, right? A red dress. Well no. Because the stores are on the garlic! Dior are the representatives on earth. And, of course, when I come and tell the clerk:

- I wanted a red dress. And I loose

:

- Red? This year there is nothing in red. This year is the blue oil.

- And that red there?

- This is the case of fire extinguisher, but if you take her out.

This is how cults start: canceling your will! Because, suddenly, I am saying

- OK, get me a blue oil of 38.

And, at that time, the clerk looks at me as you look at a Fiat Panda from an SUV:

- Is 38? You're between 40 and 42.

Sure, I looked at her as saying: 'And you'll be between asshole and dumb-ass'

But I said:

- Sorry, I'm 38.

- No, if you. But this year is the 38 tight, you know?

And that's the second step of the strategy of the sect. Lower your self esteem to control yourself better. There, I said

- That I do not get caught. I taste the 38 but I have to put the thread!

And, of course, you look in the mirror and see what you see. A sausage. A blue sausage oil.

And I say: if the entire world a meter is a meter and a kilo is a kilo, why would a size 38 is not always a size 38? You go to Carrefour and size 38 is the King can put Africa and yet, you're going to Versace and 38 do not wear or Melody.

Overall, I did what I do all: take it. Yes, because what we all thought, 'This forced me to lose weight. " "I force myself to lose weight."

Are we idiots? After two weeks you're forced to give to your niece. It's like buy shoes from 34 to force you to shrink your feet!

But that's another symptom that you are entering the cult: voluntarily submit yourself to physical suffering. Although sometimes when you're not abducted at all, you get to have a lucid moment and say, 'No, I do not take. " And so, that sent the evil that is the clerk says the final sentence:

- Take it, do not be silly, you can return!

And we bought! As you may return ... That's like eating a piece of carpet, as you return!

So I went home with my blue dress from the 38 oil. I wear it and asked my husband:

- How do I have?

- Small.

- Yes? Do I mark a lot?

- I will make sores.

Then I said, 'Tere, moderate. This is another test. The cult of fashion want you to break ties with your environment. " 'No, not going to be with me'.

I rushed into the street and not stop until I found the red dress that was unique in the entire city. When I saw him, I said, 'I'll buy it! Give him a Paco Rabanne!. Victorio And Lucchino give him .... 'Ha! And I left the store successful, with my red dress. But the joy lasted me two windows.

is something that happens to all women. Suddenly, you come the world over, 'Damn, what do I do with a red dress, if this year which takes oil is blue? " Hey, I could not sleep a wink all night.

I had a nightmare ... I was in a black mass, bound hand and foot, and the great gurus of fashion, surrounding me like Poltergeist 'Tereee. Veeen to the glamouuuuur. " Overall, I woke up, drenched in sweat and said, 'Okay, okay!

I surrender! " I smeared Vaseline whole for me to enter the suit, and I went to the wedding of my friend Jessica, dressed in blue petróleo.Cuando arrived at the church I found that we all the same ... There were more blue oil on a beach in the Persian Gulf. Here you realize that you have captured, has joined the sect, and from that time will honor Victorio and Lucchino, appoint not in vain and love Chanel Dior on everything.

PD. Anybody can explain me what the fuck is the color 'blue oil'? It took centuries to understand that things can be colored bougainvillea, I now jodáis oil, please! The oil is black as a cricket balls! (And pardon the expression ...)"

PD (from The Empress of Lavapiés) after reading the monologue (if you've got here is that you are a holy) you'll notice that 1. or monologue is old, because red is one of the colors of the season and the jersey sleeveless turtleneck does not take anything, or 2. This is written by a man (which of course will not be metrosexual ...)

Good day!

Can U Make A Pokemon Unshiny>

all started as these things start: early January, before the mirror.

The Christmas fat, no need to test in vitro or notary attesting to this. Whether nougat swallows every day as if you jog three times a week and not try the sweet until 31 December after the sansilvestre, slimline. In the latter case, very annoyed, of course, because wear jeans with a lever after so much sacrifice is what comes to be a waste of time.

That's what happened to me, after having compensated the disgust with twisted roll of kings, now I've won an emergency plan to lose what the happy cowboy refuses to cover up. The slope of January, runs up a sweat as I have left, I say to myself, but laziness that makes me go running with this cold weather is only comparable to my fondness for asparagus pot (yuck). Y to feel worse, the Chinese are preparing the marathon. I will curse him lying on the couch watching Save me when you're out running, because it is not just physical exercise and healthy diet have such good results for the rear when you want to do is eat cookies and cover with a blanket. But the worst thing that's not the worst thing is when it no longer cold and see what's under the rug ...

Time to face reality. Where did an emergency plan fashion and ideal of death, to face hunger glamorous? because of GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow's blog.

This girl has it all: just makes you a tutorial to give you a Christmas ornament, which gives you the keys of the season dressed up and down by Stella McCartney, which is his chupipandi, dry leaves you with a workout video for the i-pod Tracy Anderson, personal trainer and also chupipandera Madonna, or gives you the recipe for the macaroni to eat in the house of Valentino. Come on, who does the same for all but is more fashion than none.

In case you're wondering, yes, have diets on the blog. Of course, called "detox" because she does not need to lose weight, going, it purifies your body . I've been on a detox express 3 days, but I found two months.

Spend spend hunger, of course, but you have the consolation that dietary instructions seem a monologue Comedy Club, you find a good Jart laughing with distilled water to drink (not enough to eat 2 liters a day), eat four sunflower seeds for a snack or recipe for cookies that have no sugar, no eggs, no butter, no gluten. Well, this report is not so funny for me because I do bite. I thought it might be true, a dream, eat cookies and not gain weight. But, as I say can not (and I've tried twice).

El Chino, which is wise Confucius, was incredulous at the outset. I had blind faith in Guini (= Gwyneth Paltrow). I went to buy the ingredients, I followed all the steps ... total failure. The first time did not even have form, it was like sand. The second I got to shape it, but not cooked. And they were salty. In the trash were the alleged cookies and chimera. Today

Chinese cake made with egg, sugar and butter. I've eaten me and he has been running. Confucius What lesson would take all that ...? they do not know, but my mother, a mother and therefore a thousand times wiser, I would say this "and if pulled by Guini a bridge, do you also? "mmmm ... better not to know.